For Christmas ‘Bah Humbugs’ Everywhere:
‘Tis the night before Christmas and my views haven’t changed
The world is running around like it’s totally deranged;
Tinsel and turkeys and shopping galore,
It really all is such a frightful bore.
Cooped up with the family, you’d rather not be
Hoovering up needles from under the tree,
Buying mountains of food you never could eat
Enduring journeys back home with never a seat
With no parking in shopping malls, why does one go?
Forced fun and pleasantries with a ho bloody ho
The present re gifted straight back to your aunt
Oh why did you not just buy her a plant?
I could go on but will only depress myself further
When I need to psyche up for the New Year with fervour
So here it is for you all as those lbs you amass
A huge big fat heartfelt, Merry Christmas!